Episode 15 The AWP: Mastering the Art of The Ask

Episode 15 The AWP: Mastering the Art of The Ask

Every single day we contract with people and don’t know it.

How many of you have said at one point or another:

I didn’t sign on for that…” or 

“they got me doing something different now then when I was hired…” or 

“I switched roles and thought we agreed to this, but I spend most of my time over here…”???

THE BASIS OF TODAY’S CONVERSATION (DON’T MISS THIS SIMPLE TRUTH): 

There is always a conversation going on beneath the surface of what we agree to in our relationships-family, professional and romantic. So we need to get this right!

Mastering the Ask includes two things:
1, PASSION
2, CLARITY

Parenting PRO-TIP:
The real breakfast of champions = Feedback
The key = form your kids toward the people you hope they become!

Application Question #1: What are the terms and did we every really agree?!
Application Question #2: Why don’t we contract/ask well? A, lazy? B, don’t care? Or C, Don’t know how… diagnosis yourself.

Challenge:
#1 write down a bullet point list of 5 tangible & time-based responsibilities of the agreement
#2 schedule a review meeting with the person you most need to contract with (for the first time!) or re-contract with!

Sources:
Patrick Lencioni: Hungry, Humble and Smart https://www.tablegroup.com/imo/media/doc/IdealTeamPlayerSelfAsssesment(11)NEW.pdf
QBQ Book: https://www.amazon.com/QBQ-Question-Behind-Practicing-Accountability/dp/014305709X
Dan Reiland: trust as follow through https://danreiland.com/7-subtle-ways-to-erode-trust-as-a-leader/

Listen here:
MP3
iTunes

Episode 14 The AWP: Where Do We Go For Answers?

Episode 14 The AWP: Where Do We Go For Answers?

Google? Siri? Alexa? Where do we go for the most profound questions in life?

Our parents, teachers, books, news/music/culture… have all probably had a formative hand in the shaping of our assumptions, biases and overall worldview.

Is that all there is?

Is the Bible still relevant for the issues and struggles of our time? And could it speak authoritatively into the questions that matter most to us?

The point is that we all carry a set of assumptions and beliefs into the relationships, decisions and conversations of everyday life. What we believe impacts all that we do!

So this questions matters A LOT!

Have a listen here:

MP3

iTunes

Two points to consider are:

1. CONSIDER GOD’S VOICE AND THE TRUTH OF HIS WORD

+The Bible is culturally relevant and morally sound… test it first, believe it second!

2. TAKE MEANINGFUL ACTION ON WHAT YOU FIND

+We cannot separate belief from action…

Application:

  • Practice an immersion experience to check your current set of assumptions and beliefs to make sure it stands the test of time…
  • Have people over who view the world differently than you do
  • Take a bus ride to a different part of town
  • Take a city college class on a subject that you disagree with

Episode 13, The AWP: Honest Communication & Affecting Change

Episode 13, The AWP: Honest Communication & Affecting Change

Like campaigning politicians, everyone has a stump speech…

From the mundane:

I promise to pick up the dirty clothes…

I vow never to look at another woman…

I will take you outside to throw the football for a full 30 minutes…

To the grandiose:

I promise 4th quarter earnings will be fixed, stakeholders…

I vow that my employees will always have these benefits…

My administration will turn this country around!

We all do it-business leaders, politicians, husbands and wife’s-we create grand visions and outline broad dreams, but whether they are fulfilled is a different matter entirely!

Now there’s nothing wrong with giving hope and casting future vision, but how do we do this in a way that most effectively serves people AND invites them to be a part of the process??

When it comes to the issues that matter most to us-money, health, security and safety-we all can imagine a brighter future, but who we expect to affect that change is everything!

Everyone wants a savior from their personal circumstance, but few want to stand in the gap themselves.

When we appeal to this base notion in others (that someone else will do it for them!) we are limiting their potential to stand and deliver on the very change they wish to see.

And that’s where I see the place of true leadership stepping in. Real leaders offer an alternative path:

Tough love and careful truth-telling coupled with delegating and empowering people to be the change they wish to see.

Here are the audio files!

MP3

iTunes

Here are 3 application questions to consider:

It’s always easier to talk about “them out there” and balk at the data and trends for “those other types” but HOW DO WE PERSONALIZE THIS?

  1. What is 1 thing you’re currently tolerating/putting up with that you could be a part of the solution for?

  2. What is 1 step you could take to turn you mission, vision or dream into reality: FOCUS ON LOW HANGING FRUIT!

  3. What is 1 person that you could invite (empower, delegate to) who could help go with you?

Here are some resources from today’s episode:

Episode 12, The AWP: Mindfulness & Mastery of Technology

Episode 12, The AWP: Mindfulness & Mastery of Technology

Mobile devices, screen time and social media… while it is far too soon to see the full affect of these forms of technology on communities and history at large, there are some early correlations that should be respected.

There are correlations for anxiety and depression, for ADHD and for a number of neurological dysfunctions.

On a personal level, I feel addicted to my phone going to it for each additional hit of cortisol and adrenaline.

This habit has left me with wasted time and a shorter attention span for my wife and kids. I am interested in taking up a radical challenge in my life to create new habit-forming patterns. Will you join me?

See the actual challenge below and find me on Instagram for updates and accountability!

Please have a listen:

iTunes

MP4

Books:
Friction by Jeff Rosenblum and Jordan Berg
How to Raise a Wild Child by Scott D. Sampson
Simplicity Parenting by Kim Payne and Lisa Ross

Article links:
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/11/the-binge-breaker/501122/?utm_source=wdfb&mbid=social_fb (article on Tristen Harris, founder of HumaneTech)
https://tifwe.org/four-lessons-faith-work-brother-lawrence/ (how to be more mindful all day!)
http://humanetech.com/take-control/ (“Time well spent” organization and further tools!)
https://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/07/technology/07brainside.html (Tech affect on identity)
https://apple.news/AKVy8sR0PQ-GyXywLtFLVog (Article about AI and our kids)

The “No Phone Challenge”
1. In the waiting (use this time-as rob bell says-to think…)
2. During all meals (use this time to connect and commune)
3. Just after waking (use this time to pray, plan and fill) (cortisol is already high in the morning; its when I get my best work done!)
4. As a passenger (enjoy the ride instead)
5. One weekend morning-off limits till noon! (Use this time to be active, learn, rest, sabbath!)
6. Driving (use this time to drive)

Episode 11 (Part 1 & 2), The AWP: Growth Through Tough Things Featuring Bill Applebee

Episode 11 (Part 1 & 2), The AWP: Growth Through Tough Things Featuring Bill Applebee

Today, I welcome my dad to the show, Founder and CEO of Best Overnite Express, Bill Applebee and we’re talking about growth trough tough things.

Over 30 years of business and marriage and raising 4 kids he has faced numerous battles from economic crisis to health crisis and beyond.

We talk about facing the battles in life with a growth mindset that will better help you move to accept the tough things in your life.

The outlook of the episode is not just acceptance but growth and flourishing through a tough season or moment.

As in other shows, I used Paul David’s Tripp’s Parenting book for reference in this week’s parenting pro tip; you can us this link for his wonderful book.

Here is the mp4 link-PART 1.

Here is the mp4 link-PART 2

Here is the link for iTunes.

Here are some questions to consider after listening:

Application:
1. What is your response to tough things; indifference or acceptance?
2. Ask and answer the question why is this really happening to me?
3. Pause and consider how this circumstance may be an opportunity for growth.

Episode 10, The AWP: The Language and Led Blanket of Love

Episode 10, The AWP: The Language and Led Blanket of Love

Featuring Special Guest Eric Markle: father, friend and fellow church leader.

Early last year I talked about the rare and unlikely event of having a very tranquil experience in the dentist chair…

I know, like I said, rare and unlikely.

But I wrote about one particular aspect of which: the moment that big, heavy, led blanket is laid across your chest and hips prior to x-rays of course.

So there is our metaphor for God’s love in fact.

God’s love is like a led blanket in at least 3 ways:

  1. It is the only place you will find real and lasting protection
  2. It must be made available to every single person and deserving of every single person
  3. It is used indiscriminately, even with an arch-enemy

Please have a listen!

Here is the MP3

Here is the iTunes link

References:
Gary Chapman book “The Five Love Languages”

1. There is no protection like the Led Blanket of Love
2. You are worthy of a love like the Led Blanket can offer
3. Led blanket love is enemy love

Bonus:
-in all things, choose love
-optimize love by loving others according to how they best receive and experience love

Application:
Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman
1. Gift Giving
2. Quality Time
3. Word of Affirmation
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

What are some examples, in your daily walk with God, of how he shows His love to you?
What is your strategy with your spouse, to express the ethic of love?
What is your strategy with your children, to express the ethic of love?

Episode 9, The AWP: Get Unstuck, Use Your Dashboard

Episode 9, The AWP: Get Unstuck, Use Your Dashboard

Ever felt stuck or stagnant in your work or relationships because you’ve lost track of what the point behind it all is…?

You may be in need of a dashboard…

Dashboard, defined as a ‘picture of performance.’ Like the dashboard of a car, everyone needs a crystal clear AND visible dashboard for progress and destinations.

We have all been stuck, unsatisfied or void of purpose in work or life and for many different reasons. One that is cheif among them-I would bet-is a lack of vision for where you’re going AND how you’re doing getting there!

That’s where a dashboard would be helpful for creating clear and visible goals for your relationships, families and organizations.

The beauty of the dashboard is not just focus on the destination, but attention to the ups and downs of the journey.

Here is the episode audio file.

Here is the iTunes link.

Here are 3 questions to ask about moving from stuckness and plateau into passion in your work, life or family.

The 3 questions:

1. What’s your fight?

2. What’s your position?

3. Are you competing?

Application:

1. Create a dashboard that’s based off of a 1, 3 or 5 year plan (for your Prefered future, desired outcomes or goals)

2. Fill the dashboard with some of the things you want to see movement on

3. Review it early and often (otherwise its not a VISIBLE dashboard at all)

4. Use new numbers (not merely budgets or bottom lines; go beyond numbers to find what you really want to measure along the way)

Here are some Sources for further reading-each one of these guys are giants in this area (compared to me!)

–>Paul David Tripp book on Parenting https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Gospel-Principles-Radically-Change/dp/1433551934/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1530216267&sr=8-1&keywords=parenting+by+paul+david+tripp

–>Ravi Zacharis https://rzim.org

–>Chris McChesney and people knowing they are playing a winning game; has a book out but also found here: https://www.franklincovey.com/speakers-bureau/chris-mcchesney.html

–>Craig Groeschel on Declarative Statements https://openblog.life.church/the-power-of-personal-declarations/